The Adventures of Llama Man ft Hawkeye & Black Widow!
by Rienjengjeng
Summary: Okay, I know, the title suggests that this is a horrible story. But give it a shot! It's not as bad as it seems (I hope). This is a story of a high school kid with superpowers resembling a Llama from a place where no exciting stuff happens, but when it does, can he save the people around him? Clintasha R


**Hello world! I'm Rien, and this is my first story. Because I have no idea what kind of story to write, I'll just write a random oneshot, about me living in the Marvel Universe! **

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything. Well that's a bit sad.**

My name is Rien, just some random highschool kid living in a country faar away from the US where my favorite gang of heroes, The Avengers, live. I'm a bit sad you know, all the cool things always happen in the US, not here. All the famous mutants, Professor Xavier, Magneto, and all the others live in the US, battle in the US, leaving my country with only one famous mutant, someone called something Hercules, I don't remember. Formerly a famous body-builder and singer (yes, that is an odd combination), it is later known that he is actually way..stronger than he is when being a superstar on TV.

Did he then changed profession into a badass crime fighter? No. Now he owns his own TV show featuring him lifting various heavy objects. Yes, pathetic isn't it? While the government is corrupt and crime is happening everywhere, the only established mutant didn't do anything about it. I'm sure that there are still many mutants out there in my country, but I think we're just too scared, because the people in my country are always afraid of changes. Maybe we'll end up being bad guys, or celebrities.

We? Yes, we. I'm a mutant, with superpowers even cooler than Professor X. I could, well, umm.. spit really hard.

We've seen Spider-Man, Hawkeye, Batman, all of those animals have been an inspiration for superheroes. But there's a lot whose name haven't been turned into a superhero, one of them, is Llama. So, yes, if someday I decided to become a superhero, I would name myself, Llama Man! Because you know, they can spit really hard.

Anyway, I'm going to tell you guys a secret. This is one of the coolest experience I've ever had in my whole life.

One day, I was just walking around in a large shopping mall looking for comics to buy and read. You see, when my friends usually go to the mall, watch a movie together, I don't. I'd rather sit back in my room, open my laptop, and browse it on torrent, lol.

I was about to reach my favorite bookstore, when I heard an explosion. Not just heard, felt. I was so shocked, that I can't do a thing when I was brought tumbling to the floor with shattered glass around me.

I then just laid on the floor, not moving a muscle. I was pretty sure it was terrorists. There were so many terrorists in my country, that the S.W.A.T team here became a unit specifically handling terrorist only.

There were screams and cries coming from everywhere. I was so scared. I'm not really a brave kid you know, I closed both my ears and eyes while watching Paranormal Activity, even though it wasn't that scary.

Then I heard footsteps. Loud footsteps.

It was coming closer…and closer…

I had never imagined being in such situation, but my impromptu strategy was to play dead.

And it failed.

The man with the loud footsteps suddenly dragged the collar of my shirt. I winced. Great, I wasn't even dead. But I would be, anytime soon.

"_Come with me, I'm gonna hold you hostage." _He said, using my language. I hope it's a he, it would be way scarier if it's a she judging from the voice.

_Okay I'm dead, _I thought.

Then I started to remember about my family, my mom & dad, my sis at home, all of those memories flashing in my mind. Flashbacks do actually happen in this kind of situation.

I was about to cry, I mean who wouldn't? Or was it just me? Anyway I was about to cry, when suddenly the scary man let out a cry of pain.

An arrow, just pierced right through his heart. Ouch.

He dropped down to the floor just like that, and I too followed him, yet again, playing dead.

Then, I heard footsteps coming towards me yet again. I was determined that I would not fail to play dead again.

Then I felt a tug at my arm. I winced. Well done!

The man pulled me to my feet. But I just closed my eyes shut, not willing to see what he would do to me.

"Hey kiddo, you're safe now, just open…wait can you speak English?"

I was so glad that at least he meant no harm. So I slowly opened my eyes, and saw…Hawkeye.

"Y-yes, I c-could, S-sir," I said nervously.

"Okay I'll leave you here then, just try to get as far away from here as possible."

I was about to say 'ok' but I saw somebody jumping from I don't know where towards us. Before Hawkeye could even react, my instincts kick in. Yes, I spitted.

I had never tested how strong my spitting could be, and I was thankful I didn't test it on a friend, because it sent the jumping maniac falling out of control.

After he fell hard on the floor, me and Hawkeye just looked at each other. He seemed…amused.

He was about to say something when we heard several gunshots from behind.

We both quickly looked behind, him with his bow and arrow ready, and me, well… with my salivary glands. When I saw who fired the gun, I was almost going to jump in happiness.

As a Clintasha shipper, why wouldn't I, when I saw both of them standing close to me.

"Target eliminated, I think he's just some terrorist who was about to hostage the whole mall for something I don't know. One thing for sure, they suck, and who's that kid?"

"Believe it or not, he's just saved my life. Well not really, I could've handled it myself, but… he helped." God, they were having an actual conversation about me.

But why would they be here, why would their target be a terrorist from here? I mean, even though they are dangerous, I have to agree with The Black Widow, they suck.

"We must get out of here, I don't want to deal with the local authorities, Fury would be pissed off," The Black Widow motioned his partner to follow her.

"Okay, take care kiddo," said Hawkeye. Just when they were about to leave, I managed to spit out the question.

"Wait! Why would your target be, a terrorist, here?"

"They're not actually our targets, we're just here for vacation, aren't we Nat?"

"Yes, yes we are Clint. Now, leave?" she said in an annoyed voice.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" I said. I had been wanting to ask this question for a long time, a question that almost every Clintasha shipper had in mind.

"Are you two,,, a couple?"

"No! Who told you that?" Nat screamed angrily.

Unfortunately, Clint said "Yes!" in the same time.

There was a long, awkward pause, but thankfully Clint quickly asked me, "Mmm… Before we leave, what's your name?"

I hesitated for a moment, but I knew what I was going to answer with.

"I'm… Llama Man."

**Tadaa… The End.**

**I'm not a native speaker so please correct me if there's anything wrong ._.V**

**Please Review! It's okay if you want to say bad things about this story, but constructive criticism is better. Hope you enjoyed!**

**Regards, **

**Rien a.k.a Llama Man **


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